How to give praise at work that feels genuine, builds confidence and motivates people

The smartest gift a leader can give: confidence

I was swimming the other week, doing breaststroke up and down a 25 metre pool, minding my own business and thoroughly enjoying myself, when a memory popped into my head.

It always does when I swim.

I was a child, visiting my Auntie Daphne in Sheffield with my little brother. Every time we went to see her, she took us swimming. It was brilliant. And at some point, while I was doing breaststroke, she said something like, “Penny, your breaststroke’s really come on. It’s really good.”

That was all.

No medal ceremony. No dramatic music. No one stood poolside with a clipboard, declaring that a promising aquatic career had begun.

But it went in.

I remember feeling seriously pumped up by it. I did not make a big show of it at the time, but inside something shifted. I went from wondering whether I was doing it properly to thinking, “Yes, I can do breaststroke. I’m good at this.”

And I still have that feeling now. Which is faintly silly, I know, because I am a tiny amateur swimmer. But it is also rather wonderful, because one small moment of praise gave me a piece of confidence I have carried for years.

Leaders and managers can give people that same gift at work.

Not by flinging compliments around like confetti. Not by announcing that everyone is amazing, which usually makes the quieter, more self-critical people want to hide under the nearest desk. But by noticing something specific and saying it clearly.

That kind of praise can make someone feel capable, seen, valued and significant. It can help them recognise that the effort they have been putting in has paid off. And once a person feels that, they are much more likely to do more, try again and reach a little further.

Why specific praise at work builds confidence

One of the things I talk about a lot in confidence conversations is the gap between capability and confidence.

Someone may be perfectly able to do the thing. They may have the skill, the knowledge and the judgement. But their confidence has not caught up yet. So when they are asked to contribute, stretch themselves or try something they are not yet sure about, they do not feel as capable as they actually are.

That is why vague praise often fails.

If you say, “You’re brilliant”, a person who is feeling unsure may reject it immediately. Their brain may say, “No I’m not. What makes you say that?” Very gracious of the brain, as ever.

It can also feel a bit uncomfortable because it is so bound up with identity. “You’re brilliant” asks someone to accept a grand statement about who they are. That is a lot to swallow in the middle of a working day, especially if they were not feeling very sure of themselves to begin with.

Specific praise is different because it gives the person evidence.

Instead of, “You’re great”, try:

“I noticed you made the extra effort on that piece of work and it really paid off.”

Or:

“The way you handled that particular part was effective because you explained it clearly.”

Now the person has something to hold on to. They can connect the praise to their own behaviour. They can see what worked and why it mattered.

That is much harder to dismiss.

Why you should praise someone’s contribution and work, not their ego

There is a useful distinction here between praising what someone is and recognising what someone has contributed.

When praise is too general, it can sound like a personality judgement. You are brilliant. You are amazing. You are a natural.

That might be kindly meant, but it does not always help the person understand what to keep doing. It can even make them feel under pressure to live up to a version of themselves they do not quite recognise.

Contribution-based praise is more practical. It notices the behaviour, effort or judgement that made a difference.

You might say:

“You made that point particularly clearly.”

“You put extra effort into that, and it showed.”

“That part worked because you had thought through what people needed to understand.”

The tone is still warm. It is not a performance review wearing a party hat. But it is useful, because it gives the person a clear signal.

This is what you did.

This is why it worked.

Please do not underestimate how powerful that can be for someone whose confidence is still catching up with their ability.

Why using someone’s name makes praise feel more personal

The second small thing is to use the person’s name.

I know. It sounds almost too obvious. But saying someone’s name helps praise cut through the noise. It makes the moment personal and tells them, “This is for you.”

Brain imaging studies suggest that hearing our own name gets our attention and makes information feel more personally relevant. You do not need to be wearing a white coat to recognise the effect, though. You have probably felt it yourself.

My daughter works part-time in a coffee shop, and we were talking about names on coffee cups. She has to ask people their names and write them down, which can be a small spelling hazard when you are under pressure. But when I asked her how it feels when someone says or remembers her name, she smiled as she answered.

She said she feels seen. Connected to everything. Like it is just really nice.

That is a very human reaction. Names carry belonging. They say, “You are not just part of the background here.”

So if you are giving praise at work, do not throw it vaguely into the air and hope it lands somewhere useful.

Say the person’s name.

“Penny, I noticed…”

“I noticed the way you…”

“That extra effort you made…”

Then be specific about what you saw.

You have already increased the chance that the person will actually hear you.

Should I praise everyone equally at work?

Do not turn praise into a fairness exercise.This is where some leaders get themselves tied up.

They notice one person doing something well and think, “I praised them this week, so now I need to praise everyone else, or it won’t be fair.”

No. You are allowed off that particular hook.

Praise does not have to be distributed like a rota. In fact, when you force it, people can usually tell. It starts to feel dutiful rather than meaningful, and the whole thing loses its charge.

The better habit is to notice good work when it happens and recognise it clearly.

There is also a wider effect when praise is given well and, where appropriate, publicly. When someone is unexpectedly praised for the way they did something, productivity can increase not only in that person but in others who overhear it.

That makes sense to me because public praise can quietly establish standards and values. It shows people, “This is what good looks like here.” It tells the team what is noticed, appreciated and worth repeating.

Of course, this only works if the praise is genuine and specific. If it turns into a public flattery session, people will keep inspecting the carpet until it ends.

But when it is attached to real effort or effective behaviour, it can raise the game for more than one person.

Recognising a colleague's great work doesn’t need to be a big deal. Simple ways to give meaningful praise at work

One reason praise gets overlooked is that leaders imagine it has to be a big moment. It doesn't.

You do not need to wait for the annual awards event, the perfect performance review or the end of a major project. In fact, confidence often grows from smaller pieces of evidence gathered over time.

A quick moment after a meeting. A line in a message. A comment in a team call. A quiet word when you have noticed someone stretching themselves.

The useful pattern is simple:

• Say their name.
•  Name the specific thing they did.
•  Explain why it worked or why it helped.
•  Stop there.

That last bit is worth including because leaders can sometimes overdo it. They add more words, then more explanation, then a slightly awkward flourish, and suddenly the person receiving the praise is wishing they had worn a disguise.

Keep it clean.

“I noticed you made the extra effort on that. It really paid off.”

“The way you explained that helped people understand what needed to happen next.”

“You handled that part effectively because you stayed clear and focused.”

You are not trying to produce a life-changing speech. You are trying to give someone a usable piece of confidence.

Why genuine praise helps people feel seen and capable

What Auntie Daphne gave me at that swimming pool was not just praise. It was the feeling of being noticed by someone whose opinion carried weight.

That is the part leaders should pay attention to.

People are often working hard while quietly wondering whether anyone can see the effort. They may not say that out loud, because most adults are not keen to announce, “Could someone please notice me now?” But the need is still there.

When you recognise someone specifically, you are not only rewarding the finished result. You are helping them make sense of their own progress.

“You have come on.”

“That worked.”

“Your effort paid off.”

Those are small messages, but they can stay with people. They can become evidence. And evidence is what confidence loves.

So the next time you see someone do something well, do not let the moment slip past because you are busy or because praise feels a bit clunky.

Say their name. Be specific. Tell them what you noticed.

You might think you are giving them a quick compliment.

They might keep it for years.