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“I’m no good at that” – challenging limiting beliefs and negative self-labelling at work

There’s a phrase you’ll often hear in the workplace: “I’m just not good at that sort of thing.”
Sometimes it’s more specific, “I don’t do small talk” or “I hate speaking in meetings.”
And it’s frustrating to hear, especially when you’ve seen the same person light up when talking about their area of expertise.
Ask them about a problem in the supply chain or a piece of technical kit and they’ll speak with clarity, detail and passion. No hesitation. No second-guessing.
But ask them to contribute to a team discussion or start a casual chat at an event, and suddenly they shrink back.
They’ll tell you it’s not their thing.
They’ll tell you they’re not that kind of person.
So what’s going on?
In my experience, it usually comes down to two things:
Limiting beliefs: quiet, unchallenged thoughts people carry around about what they can and can’t do. The ones that say, “This isn’t me,” or “I’m not wired for that.”
Negative self-labelling: repeated out loud, often with a shrug. “I’m always late.” “I ramble when I talk.” “I’m no good with people.”
And over time, these stick.
They become part of someone’s professional identity, woven into how they see themselves and how others start to see them too.
But here’s the thing. In most cases, these beliefs aren’t rooted in truth, they’re just coping strategies.
A way of managing nerves. A bit of cover for social discomfort.
And when repeated enough, they start to set the limits of what someone believes they’re capable of.
Which is where the problem begins.
Because in a workplace context, these beliefs don’t just stay inside someone’s head.
They affect how they show up, how they contribute, how others engage with them… and ultimately how far they grow.
And that’s a challenge for any organisation trying to build confident, connected, collaborative teams.

Making space for real confidence at work

In a confidence workshop this week, I was asked a question that comes up again and again:

“Do women struggle more with confidence, or are men just less likely to admit it?”

On the face of it, yes, women are more likely to talk about feelings, while men stereotypically don’t.

But the long answer isn’t quite so simple.

I’d argue that when it comes to confidence, it’s not about chromosomes. It’s about the messages we absorb from a young age, subtle ones that shape how we see ourselves and how others see us.

Boys first, girls second
For me, it started in primary school. Every morning, when taking the register, the teacher read out the boys’ names first. Then the girls’. At the time, it felt normal. But it landed: boys came first. We came second.

That’s how it begins, not with big, dramatic moments but with small, repeated signals. Over time, you start to think maybe your voice matters a bit less.

Even though girls do better at school, that early confidence doesn’t always follow them into work. Cue the gender pay gap. Cue the lack of women in top roles. Cue the need to prove what men are often assumed to have: competence.

The value of val-yous: why reflecting on personal values can boost your colleagues confidence and sharpen decision making

Have you ever dithered over making a final decision on something? Perhaps choosing one candidate over another, or what to do about the kitchen cupboards falling apart!

Maybe you said yes to something, then quickly regretted not saying a firm no. Or you held back when you meant to speak up.

Well, all these moments, internal wobbles, are signs you’ve drifted from your values, the things that really matter to you, that make you you.

Or, more likely, you’ve never had an opportunity to pin down your values..

Now , imagine what happens when a whole team is out of step with their own personal values. It’s not just the odd regret or misstep here and there, it’s multiple people being slower to make decisions, second-guessing why they’re going in a certain direction, not really leaning into being themselves and being brave.

Everyone needs a North Star – and that’s why it’s worth doing a values check-in.

Is your town hall meeting in trouble?

Why your town hall meeting might be turning people off.
You’ve got everyone in the business together. The slides are ready. The execs are lined up. You’re streaming to hundreds of screens. So why does it still feel like a bit of a flop?

Town halls should be a highlight – a chance to bring people together, share progress, spark ideas and build momentum. But too often, they miss the mark.

Instead of being energising, they’re predictable. Instead of creating a connection, they reinforce a divide. Instead of landing messages, they lose the room.

We’ve all been there. Cameras off, minds wandering. A speaker droning through 30 bullet points while you mentally reorganise your weekend. And if you’re the one organising it? It can be disheartening to watch the effort go nowhere.

Why presentation skills training isn’t always the answer

When someone in your team struggles to speak up or seems unsure of themselves, it’s tempting to reach for a quick solution: presentation skills training.

It’s neat. It’s available. And it feels like you’re taking action. But in many cases, it’s a veneer-thin fix.

Yes, presentation skills training can be great for learning how to structure a talk, use slides well or engage an audience.

But if the real problem runs deeper, it won’t help. In fact, it might do more harm than good.

Because more often than not, it’s not a skills issue. It’s about confidence. Or culture. Or the way people are heard – or not – in your organisation.

So let’s rethink what’s really going on.

How to ask great questions

How to Ask Great Questions

Questions. We ask them all the time, don’t we? In meetings, in conversations with colleagues, when we’re getting to know clients, and even when we’re networking at events. But how often do we actually stop and think about the questions we’re asking?
When I asked questions for a living, as a journalist on live TV, the quality of the questions was important because it affected the quality of the answers.
But quite understandably most of us just ask questions, in our day to day life, in a natural way. But how about we focus a bit more on crafting great questions? Making it deliberate. Thoughtful. Because when you ask them well, they can change the way people engage with you, the quality of ideas you get back, and ultimately, the results you achieve in your work.
So today, we’re talking about how to ask great questions. Not just any old questions, but the kind that get people thinking, that open up conversations, and help you get better responses.
To do that, I’m going to walk you through three powerful types of questions you can start using right away.
And in the notes section below, there’s a link to a bonus of even more great questions to ask.
Right then, shall we get into it?

Great Job! Why recognition needs a rethink

Great Job! Why recognition needs a rethink. Did you shout ‘great job, team!’ this week, perhaps with a triumphant air punch?
Recognising and appreciating good work is a key leadership skill, but doing it inconsistently can sink morale faster than you can say “project deadline.”
Picture this: you’ve slogged through a tough project, and… nothing. Not a word. Then, a colleague gets applauded for something minor. Annoying, right?
That’s the danger of patchy praise. It leaves people feeling overlooked and unmotivated.
Recognition shouldn’t be a rare event
Appreciation isn’t just for the big wins. It needs to happen consistently and sincerely – whether it’s celebrating a major milestone or acknowledging smaller efforts that keep the wheels turning.
When you only highlight certain achievements, the unspoken message is clear: not all contributions matter. That breeds dissatisfaction and disengagement.

How to say no at work

How to say no at work. Let’s face it, saying no isn’t always easy. Whether it’s a colleague, your boss or that overly enthusiastic friend trying to rope you into something, the pressure to say yes can feel overwhelming.

So, here’s my guide to navigating those tricky situations when you want to confidently say no.

Do you struggle to say no at work?
Some of us just can’t bear the thought of letting anyone down. Often we can find ourselves saying yes to a request just to keep others happy – even if it’s at the detriment of our own happiness or well-being.

This can stem from a strong need to be liked, conflict avoidance or even an ingrained habit of simply prioritising others’ needs above their own.

While it’s a trait rooted in kindness and collaboration – which is lovely – it can lead to burnout, resentment or being taken advantage of if left unchecked. So, what can you do if you are stuck in a cycle of saying yes when you don’t want to?

Gender pay gap and workplace well-being at the NFU

Tackling the gender pay gap and promoting well-being at the NFU – Catherine Cooper

Workplace Confidence Podcast – Tackling the gender pay gap and promoting well-being at the NFU with Catherine Cooper.

In this episode, we chat with Catherine Cooper, Director of People at the National Farmers Union, who is on a mission to foster inclusivity and tackle the gender pay gap at NFU. Catherine brings her passion for people and culture to the forefront, sharing her strategies for supporting employees and members through challenging times like Brexit, COVID-19, and the war in Ukraine.

Catherine discusses the NFU’s approach to closing the gender pay gap, focusing on empowering women, promoting flexible working and ensuring fair and unbiased recruitment.

She also opens up about her personal journey with confidence and imposter syndrome and how these experiences shape her leadership style today. From creating connection through “Tea Together” events to implementing agile working policies, Catherine is all about making sure everyone at NFU feels valued and supported.

The power of reflective practice

Do your people think, reflect and succeed? The power of reflective practice.
I’d like to introduce you to another free and straightforward idea that will supercharge professional life for you and your colleagues.
It’s called ‘reflective practice’ – also known as journaling or, in super simple terms, writing down your thoughts and writing down what you think about your thoughts.
It can have a surprisingly powerful impact.
The practice is commonly used by healthcare, education and social work professionals, but trust me, its’ benefits can transform any workplace.

Can you just say a few words?

Could you just say a few words please?
Ever been asked that, or had to ask it of someone else?
It’s for that moment in an office, when there’s a ‘leaving do’ – a team member is retiring, going on maternity leave, moving on to another department or a new job somewhere else – and it’s someone senior’s job to mark the occasion with a small speech-ette.
But it can fall a bit flat, can’t it? We’ve all witnessed it. The departing person feels unappreciated, the team are embarrassed. And you’ve missed an opportunity to communicate culture and to show how valuable your people actually are.
So let’s get on top of these moments as leaders, make the most of the chance to be visible and ultimately make them more meaningful.

How to interrupt like a pro

How to interrupt like a pro. This time, I’m sharing insights on a slightly less celebrated but incredibly useful skill – interrupting!
Far from being a breach of etiquette, having colleagues who know how to interrupt appropriately is essential.
Confidently interrupting (and accepting interruptions) without causing offence saves time and enhances collaboration and productivity.
The art of interrupting
Interrupting isn’t about cutting people off – it’s about steering a conversation constructively. Instead of the awkward ‘um’ or ‘excuse me,’ opt for confident and clear interjections.
A well-timed “Thank you for that insight, let’s hold on to that thought and move on,” can seamlessly shift the discussion without dampening the speaker’s spirit.

Workplace mastermind groups - Solving problems and building networks from Penny Haslam on Vimeo.

Workplace mastermind groups

Introduction: What is a workplace mastermind group?

I want to share an idea with you that’s commonly associated with business owners. Actually, I think it’s something that should be more regularly used in the workplace. That is, mastermind groups at work so your people can solve their problems confidently and build wider networks across the organisation.

There are loads of reasons why they’re brilliant, and often their outcomes are phenomenal in a way that you’d never expect. I’ll go into those in a little more detail in a minute, but a mastermind group is sometimes also known as an action learning set or peer-to-peer mentoring.

Are you a boring boss? Find out in 5 questions

Are you a boring boss? In a meeting with a colleague, customer or client, who speaks first and for how long? Boring people tend to do all the talking and dominate a conversation. It can be frustrating when someone dominates the conversation and doesn’t give others a chance to speak.

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