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Communicating upwards: why won’t my message land?

If you’ve ever walked out of a senior meeting thinking “Well… that went nowhere”, you’re not alone. This is the frustration that sits underneath many executive and board conversations.

On paper, these meetings should be decisive. The people in the room are experienced, intelligent and trusted to steer the organisation. Yet in practice, the opposite often happens. Meetings run long. Decisions drift. Conversations get bogged down in updates rather than outcomes.

What should be a focused, decision-shaping discussion quietly turns into a reporting session.

You can almost feel the energy leak out of the room.

Senior teams are rarely short of information. If anything, they’re overwhelmed by it. What they’re short of is clarity. They want to know: What’s the issue? Why does it matter? What do you need from us?

When those questions aren’t answered early and explicitly, meetings stall. Slides multiply. Explanations lengthen. And this is the crucial point. Conversations don’t unravel because the person presenting lacks ability. They unravel because the conversation hasn’t been framed for decision-making.

This is often the moment when confidence wobbles. Someone gets challenged, becomes defensive or retreats into detail. The room loses focus. Clarity disappears.

When information is moved around the room but thinking doesn’t move forward, the cost is real.

Slow decisions sap momentum. Unclear decisions increase risk. Repeated conversations waste time and quietly erode trust. Over time, senior teams lose confidence not in the data but in the communication.

The good news is this doesn’t require you to become slicker, louder or more polished. It requires you to communicate differently.

And that starts with understanding what senior conversations are actually for.

Why doesn’t my team remember what I say?

Why doesn’t my team remember what I say? The familiar leadership frustration

You say the thing.
You explain it clearly.
You answer the questions.
You leave the room thinking, right, that’s done.

And then… a week later… It’s as if none of it ever happened.

Someone asks a question you’re sure you already covered. You find yourself repeating the same message again, slightly louder this time, wondering whether you’re going mad or whether everyone else has collectively forgotten.

This is one of the most frustrating experiences in leadership. Especially when the message matters. A change in direction. A new way of working. The start of something important you genuinely care about. You’ve been thinking about it for weeks, maybe months. You’re invested. You’re clear. You’re ready to go.

And yet the energy you felt when you shared it doesn’t seem to last. Engagement fades. Momentum stalls. You start to question whether people were ever really listening in the first place.

At this point, many leaders tend to turn their frustration inward. Am I not clear enough? Am I boring? Am I expecting too much? Or they turn it outward. Why can’t people just remember? Why do I have to keep repeating myself?

Measuring Workplace Confidence – What happens when you teach self-belief?

Does workplace confidence training genuinely change how people feel and work, or does the impact fade the moment the session ends? That’s the question Northumbria University set out to answer when it evaluated the Workplace Confidence Training delivered by Bit Famous to the College of Policing.

To understand what really happens after a session like this, the researchers followed participants over time. They gathered data before the workshop, immediately afterwards and again three months later. This gave them something rare in workplace training: a clear view of both the immediate uplift and the longer-term effects.

The survey results showed measurable shifts in confidence, job satisfaction, peer support and people’s understanding of the tools they’d learned.

The study blended two types of evidence. Alongside the numbers were written comments from participants. These qualitative reflections revealed the human side of the experience: what people remembered, how they used the ideas and what difference it made in day-to-day policing roles.

The simple goal setting tool that sets your team up for success

The simple goal setting tool that sets your team up for success. When I talk to leaders about confidence, I’m always drawn back to something simple: people feel better about themselves when they achieve things. It sounds almost too obvious, doesn’t it? But in the day-to-day rush of work – the meetings, the emails, the urgent stuff piling up in corners – it’s astonishing how often this basic truth gets overlooked. We forget that momentum builds confidence, and confidence fuels performance.

What I’ve noticed, over and over again, is that achievement doesn’t have to be spectacular to be powerful. In fact, the big, dramatic wins tend to arrive only after a long stretch of small, steady steps. But in workplaces, we rarely pause long enough to notice those steps, never mind celebrate them.

And that’s a problem, because when people stop recognising their own progress, their confidence starts to dip. You see it in the colleague who used to be full of ideas but has grown quiet. You see it in the bright new hire who arrived bursting with energy, only to lose their shine a few months in. You see it in people who’ve always been capable but have started doubting themselves, often without anyone realising. As I say in the podcast, life happens – people go through things, confidence gets knocked, and achievement starts to feel harder than it should.

Inside the study: what we’ve learned from mastermind groups in police leadership

Inside the study: what we’ve learned from mastermind groups in police leadership.

Study into the success of mastermind groups and peer-led learning. At Bit Famous, we’ve seen first-hand how powerful peer learning can be. When colleagues come together to talk openly about their challenges, swap ideas and hold each other accountable, something clicks. Confidence grows. Problems get solved. People stop waiting for permission and start making things happen.

In May 2025, our award-nominated training with the College of Policing (Finalists: Personnel Today Learning and Development Supplier of the Year 2025) became the focus of an independent evaluation by Northumbria University. The study explored the impact of our Workplace Mastermind Groups programme, which introduces leaders to a practical, peer-led approach to problem-solving and professional development.

The research ran for six months, tracking more than 80 senior police leaders across England and Wales before their training, immediately after, and again three months later.

The findings are fascinating. Participants showed big jumps in understanding how to set up and run mastermind groups, and most felt better supported by colleagues and managers. Job satisfaction and collaboration improved too. Confidence stayed consistently high, suggesting these sessions help people put their self-belief to work rather than simply talk about it.

In short, the research confirms what we’ve always known from experience: when people are given space to learn from each other, they don’t just gain knowledge — they build stronger, more confident workplaces.

Let’s take a look at what the data tells us.

The power of colleague-led learning

Colleague-led learning. What if I told you some of the best learning and development in your workplace doesn’t need a big budget, a slick platform or an outside trainer on speed dial?
Sounds unlikely, right? But it’s happening. I’ve just been working with a group at Beazley, a global insurance firm. They didn’t wait around for the “perfect” training course on presentations. Instead, they built their own. A colleague-led club, now 100 members strong, where people practise speaking, swap feedback and support each other to go from “just about okay” to truly compelling.

A beginner’s guide to difficult conversations at work

A beginner’s guide to difficult conversations at work. Difficult conversations are a leadership challenge; this guide is here to make them easier.

You’ll find out why people avoid them, what happens when we stay silent and practical ways to deal with the most common situations. From giving quick feedback in the moment to tackling repeated performance issues and even speaking up to senior colleagues, you’ll get straightforward advice you can start using right away.

To bring this to life, we’ve drawn on the expertise of Bit Famous associate and leadership coach Heather Wright. Heather has years of experience working with organisations on culture, performance and leadership. She knows first-hand how much confidence grows when people learn to handle these conversations well. Her insights and practical tools run through this beginner’s guide.

An introduction to difficult conversations at work

An introduction to difficult conversations at work. I’m joined by leadership coach Heather Wright to explore why we so often avoid difficult conversations at work. Heather tells me that fear is usually at the root – fear of saying the wrong thing, fear of being seen as a bully, or fear of conflict itself. Yet conflict, when it’s handled well, is not destructive at all. In fact, it’s essential for building trust and creating high-performing teams.

Heather explains that many of us simply don’t have good role models for how to do this. We see conflict on TV or in arguments that escalate, but rarely do we see a tricky conversation that goes well. That’s why she encourages leaders to set the tone early, having “conversations about conversations” before issues arise. When teams know that disagreement isn’t personal, they feel safe to speak up and work better together.

The cost of avoidance, Heather warns, is huge. It damages culture, drives up staff turnover and crushes creativity. But when leaders embrace difficult conversations, they unlock motivation, innovation and collaboration. As Heather puts it: “There are two things people want at work – to be seen and to be understood.” If we can give our teams that, the results speak for themselves.

Bit Famous – Finalist, Learning and Development Supplier of the Year 2025

Bit Famous named as finalist in Personnel Today Awards 2025 for L&D Supplier of the Year.
We’re delighted to share that Bit Famous, in partnership with the College of Policing, has been shortlisted as a Finalist in the Personnel Today Awards 2025 in the Learning & Development Supplier of the Year category – for the second consecutive year.
This recognition highlights our impactful work supporting senior police leaders from underrepresented backgrounds to develop confidence, communication skills and career momentum. Here’s a closer look at what made the programme stand out.
Supporting diverse police leadership through workplace confidence training
The College of Policing asked Bit Famous to help develop the next generation of executive police leaders. The aim? To better reflect society by encouraging Superintendents and Chief Superintendents from underrepresented groups to see executive leadership as a positive and achievable career path.

“I’m no good at that” – challenging limiting beliefs and negative self-labelling at work

There’s a phrase you’ll often hear in the workplace: “I’m just not good at that sort of thing.”
Sometimes it’s more specific, “I don’t do small talk” or “I hate speaking in meetings.”
And it’s frustrating to hear, especially when you’ve seen the same person light up when talking about their area of expertise.
Ask them about a problem in the supply chain or a piece of technical kit and they’ll speak with clarity, detail and passion. No hesitation. No second-guessing.
But ask them to contribute to a team discussion or start a casual chat at an event, and suddenly they shrink back.
They’ll tell you it’s not their thing.
They’ll tell you they’re not that kind of person.
So what’s going on?
In my experience, it usually comes down to two things:
Limiting beliefs: quiet, unchallenged thoughts people carry around about what they can and can’t do. The ones that say, “This isn’t me,” or “I’m not wired for that.”
Negative self-labelling: repeated out loud, often with a shrug. “I’m always late.” “I ramble when I talk.” “I’m no good with people.”
And over time, these stick.
They become part of someone’s professional identity, woven into how they see themselves and how others start to see them too.
But here’s the thing. In most cases, these beliefs aren’t rooted in truth, they’re just coping strategies.
A way of managing nerves. A bit of cover for social discomfort.
And when repeated enough, they start to set the limits of what someone believes they’re capable of.
Which is where the problem begins.
Because in a workplace context, these beliefs don’t just stay inside someone’s head.
They affect how they show up, how they contribute, how others engage with them… and ultimately how far they grow.
And that’s a challenge for any organisation trying to build confident, connected, collaborative teams.

The value of val-yous: why reflecting on personal values can boost your colleagues confidence and sharpen decision making

Have you ever dithered over making a final decision on something? Perhaps choosing one candidate over another, or what to do about the kitchen cupboards falling apart!

Maybe you said yes to something, then quickly regretted not saying a firm no. Or you held back when you meant to speak up.

Well, all these moments, internal wobbles, are signs you’ve drifted from your values, the things that really matter to you, that make you you.

Or, more likely, you’ve never had an opportunity to pin down your values..

Now , imagine what happens when a whole team is out of step with their own personal values. It’s not just the odd regret or misstep here and there, it’s multiple people being slower to make decisions, second-guessing why they’re going in a certain direction, not really leaning into being themselves and being brave.

Everyone needs a North Star – and that’s why it’s worth doing a values check-in.

Great Job! Why recognition needs a rethink

Great Job! Why recognition needs a rethink. Did you shout ‘great job, team!’ this week, perhaps with a triumphant air punch?
Recognising and appreciating good work is a key leadership skill, but doing it inconsistently can sink morale faster than you can say “project deadline.”
Picture this: you’ve slogged through a tough project, and… nothing. Not a word. Then, a colleague gets applauded for something minor. Annoying, right?
That’s the danger of patchy praise. It leaves people feeling overlooked and unmotivated.
Recognition shouldn’t be a rare event
Appreciation isn’t just for the big wins. It needs to happen consistently and sincerely – whether it’s celebrating a major milestone or acknowledging smaller efforts that keep the wheels turning.
When you only highlight certain achievements, the unspoken message is clear: not all contributions matter. That breeds dissatisfaction and disengagement.

Gender pay gap and workplace well-being at the NFU

Tackling the gender pay gap and promoting well-being at the NFU – Catherine Cooper

Workplace Confidence Podcast – Tackling the gender pay gap and promoting well-being at the NFU with Catherine Cooper.

In this episode, we chat with Catherine Cooper, Director of People at the National Farmers Union, who is on a mission to foster inclusivity and tackle the gender pay gap at NFU. Catherine brings her passion for people and culture to the forefront, sharing her strategies for supporting employees and members through challenging times like Brexit, COVID-19, and the war in Ukraine.

Catherine discusses the NFU’s approach to closing the gender pay gap, focusing on empowering women, promoting flexible working and ensuring fair and unbiased recruitment.

She also opens up about her personal journey with confidence and imposter syndrome and how these experiences shape her leadership style today. From creating connection through “Tea Together” events to implementing agile working policies, Catherine is all about making sure everyone at NFU feels valued and supported.

The power of reflective practice

Do your people think, reflect and succeed? The power of reflective practice.
I’d like to introduce you to another free and straightforward idea that will supercharge professional life for you and your colleagues.
It’s called ‘reflective practice’ – also known as journaling or, in super simple terms, writing down your thoughts and writing down what you think about your thoughts.
It can have a surprisingly powerful impact.
The practice is commonly used by healthcare, education and social work professionals, but trust me, its’ benefits can transform any workplace.

Can you just say a few words?

Could you just say a few words please?
Ever been asked that, or had to ask it of someone else?
It’s for that moment in an office, when there’s a ‘leaving do’ – a team member is retiring, going on maternity leave, moving on to another department or a new job somewhere else – and it’s someone senior’s job to mark the occasion with a small speech-ette.
But it can fall a bit flat, can’t it? We’ve all witnessed it. The departing person feels unappreciated, the team are embarrassed. And you’ve missed an opportunity to communicate culture and to show how valuable your people actually are.
So let’s get on top of these moments as leaders, make the most of the chance to be visible and ultimately make them more meaningful.

How to interrupt like a pro

How to interrupt like a pro. This time, I’m sharing insights on a slightly less celebrated but incredibly useful skill – interrupting!
Far from being a breach of etiquette, having colleagues who know how to interrupt appropriately is essential.
Confidently interrupting (and accepting interruptions) without causing offence saves time and enhances collaboration and productivity.
The art of interrupting
Interrupting isn’t about cutting people off – it’s about steering a conversation constructively. Instead of the awkward ‘um’ or ‘excuse me,’ opt for confident and clear interjections.
A well-timed “Thank you for that insight, let’s hold on to that thought and move on,” can seamlessly shift the discussion without dampening the speaker’s spirit.

Workplace mastermind groups - Solving problems and building networks from Penny Haslam on Vimeo.

Workplace mastermind groups

Introduction: What is a workplace mastermind group?

I want to share an idea with you that’s commonly associated with business owners. Actually, I think it’s something that should be more regularly used in the workplace. That is, mastermind groups at work so your people can solve their problems confidently and build wider networks across the organisation.

There are loads of reasons why they’re brilliant, and often their outcomes are phenomenal in a way that you’d never expect. I’ll go into those in a little more detail in a minute, but a mastermind group is sometimes also known as an action learning set or peer-to-peer mentoring.

Are you a boring boss? Find out in 5 questions

Are you a boring boss? In a meeting with a colleague, customer or client, who speaks first and for how long? Boring people tend to do all the talking and dominate a conversation. It can be frustrating when someone dominates the conversation and doesn’t give others a chance to speak.

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