“I’m no good at that” – challenging limiting beliefs and negative self-labelling at work
Challenging limiting beliefs and negative self-labelling at work. There’s a phrase you’ll often hear in the workplace: “I’m just not good at that sort of thing.”
Sometimes it’s more specific, “I don’t do small talk” or “I hate speaking in meetings.”
And it’s frustrating to hear, especially when you’ve seen the same person light up when talking about their area of expertise.
Ask them about a problem in the supply chain or a piece of technical kit and they’ll speak with clarity, detail and passion. No hesitation. No second-guessing.
But ask them to contribute to a team discussion or start a casual chat at an event, and suddenly they shrink back.
They’ll tell you it’s not their thing.
They’ll tell you they’re not that kind of person.
So what’s going on?
In my experience, it usually comes down to two things:
Limiting beliefs: quiet, unchallenged thoughts people carry around about what they can and can’t do. The ones that say, “This isn’t me,” or “I’m not wired for that.”
Negative self-labelling: repeated out loud, often with a shrug. “I’m always late.” “I ramble when I talk.” “I’m no good with people.”
And over time, these stick.
They become part of someone’s professional identity, woven into how they see themselves and how others start to see them too.
But here’s the thing. In most cases, these beliefs aren’t rooted in truth, they’re just coping strategies.
A way of managing nerves. A bit of cover for social discomfort.
And when repeated enough, they start to set the limits of what someone believes they’re capable of.
Which is where the problem begins.
Because in a workplace context, these beliefs don’t just stay inside someone’s head.
They affect how they show up, how they contribute, how others engage with them… and ultimately how far they grow.
And that’s a challenge for any organisation trying to build confident, connected, collaborative teams.
Bit Famous works with businesses and organisations to help them communicate with confidence.
By Penny Haslam
MD and Founder - Bit Famous
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Limiting beliefs and negative self-labelling -When people believe they’re not capable of doing something, they avoid it.
When people believe they’re not capable of doing something, they find ways to avoid it.
Not because they’re lazy or unwilling. But because, in their minds, they’ve already decided “that’s not for me.”
It might be something small, like picking up the phone instead of sending another email. Or saying hello to someone they don’t normally talk to.
Tiny moments, barely noticeable. But when they never happen, something gets lost.
Relationships don’t build.
Trust doesn’t form.
And communication becomes purely transactional, efficient, maybe, but cold.
You start to see the effects in the day-to-day.
A decision gets delayed because no one wanted to ask the awkward question.
A message gets misunderstood because no one felt confident enough to clarify it face-to-face.
People stick to their own lanes, only interacting when they absolutely have to.
It slows things down.
It weakens collaboration.
And it erodes trust, the kind of trust that makes teams work well under pressure, share ideas and solve problems quickly.
There’s also a personal cost.
Because when someone avoids these interactions, they miss out on chances to grow, to lead, to be seen.
And over time, that sense of “I’m not that kind of person” becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Si how do you resolve this is the workplace? There’s a simple and practical way to help break the cycle.
Start weaving small, intentional development goals, micro stretch goals, into regular conversations.
Not to overwhelm or “fix” someone, but to gently challenge the belief that they can’t.
The power of a micro stretch goal to challenge limiting beliefs and negative self-labelling
One way to shift a limiting belief is to quietly challenge it, not with a bold leap, but with a small, deliberate stretch.
During a development chat or regular check-in, try suggesting one manageable behavioural goal. Nothing big or showy. Just a small step that nudges someone slightly beyond where they usually stop themselves.
It could be:
- Starting a casual conversation with a colleague in another department
- Asking a question or sharing a thought during a meeting
- Replacing one email with a quick phone call
Not exactly revolutionary actions. In fact, they’re the kind of things that often get dismissed as too obvious to bother with.
But for someone who’s convinced they don’t do small talk, or believes they have nothing worth saying, these are big steps. Quiet acts of confidence.
That’s why I call them micro stretch goals.
They’re easy to overlook, especially if they come naturally to you. But they don’t come naturally to everyone.
What feels minor to one person can feel massive to another. Especially if they’ve built an entire identity around not doing that kind of thing.
You’re not asking for a complete transformation. You’re creating a small moment of stretch, something achievable, visible and specific.
And when that stretch is attempted, even if it feels awkward or messy, it starts to chip away at the belief underneath.
Maybe I can do this.
Maybe I’m not as bad at this as I thought.
That’s when progress begins.
How to create a micro stretch goal
1. Spot the belief
It usually shows up in the way someone talks about themselves.
“I’m no good at that.”
“I’ve just never been a confident speaker.”
“I hate that kind of thing.”
Or in what they don’t do, avoiding eye contact, sitting out of group chats, always emailing instead of calling.
That’s often the giveaway.
Rather than challenging it head-on, try getting curious.
Is this really a skill gap? Or is it a story they’ve picked up and started believing?
Quite often, it’s a bit of both, a lack of practice hiding behind a label that’s been repeated too many times.
2. Set a micro stretch goal
Once you’ve spotted the belief, offer a gentle nudge. Not a big, sweeping personality change, just one thing to try.
Something like:
- Say hello to someone they usually walk past
- Share a thought during a meeting, even if it’s brief
- Pick one interaction this week that could be done face-to-face instead of digitally
It needs to be specific. Clear enough to spot when it happens. And small enough that it doesn’t trigger resistance.
3. Reflect on the benefits
Afterwards, talk about it. Ask what they noticed.
Was it as bad as they expected?
Did the other person respond well?
Did it change the dynamic, even slightly?
These moments are often subtle, a quicker response, a warmer interaction, a small sense of pride but they build up.
And if you can help someone notice the reward, they’re more likely to do it again.
Sometimes the biggest shifts begin with something that looks laughably small. But if it interrupts a long-held belief, that’s a big win.
Challenging limiting beliefs and negative self-labelling is great for the bottom line
You won’t find micro stretch goals listed on most performance reviews.
They rarely make it into formal development plans.
They’re quiet. Low-key. Easy to miss.
But often, they’re the reason everything else gets done well.
Because when someone starts to believe they can do more than they thought, when they test that belief and see it hold, something shifts.
Confidence grows.
Capability expands.
That old label starts to loosen its grip.
Over time, discomfort fades. Habits take hold.
And suddenly, the person who said “I don’t do that” becomes the one others rely on to step up, speak clearly and build connection.
Zoom out, and there’s a bigger gain.
Teams that talk to each other, that build trust across functions, that feel comfortable picking up the phone or offering a quick word of support - those are the teams that move faster.
They spot problems early.
They collaborate better.
They avoid the silos, misunderstandings and delays that can quietly drain time and money.
It’s not just good for morale.
It’s good for the bottom line too.
Confidence doesn’t always show up in bold statements or flashy presentations.
Sometimes it’s in the simple act of starting a conversation, asking a question or making eye contact in a meeting.
One small stretch at a time, that’s how it grows.
