Authenticity and Communication Archives

An introduction to difficult conversations at work

An introduction to difficult conversations at work. I’m joined by leadership coach Heather Wright to explore why we so often avoid difficult conversations at work. Heather tells me that fear is usually at the root – fear of saying the wrong thing, fear of being seen as a bully, or fear of conflict itself. Yet conflict, when it’s handled well, is not destructive at all. In fact, it’s essential for building trust and creating high-performing teams.

Heather explains that many of us simply don’t have good role models for how to do this. We see conflict on TV or in arguments that escalate, but rarely do we see a tricky conversation that goes well. That’s why she encourages leaders to set the tone early, having “conversations about conversations” before issues arise. When teams know that disagreement isn’t personal, they feel safe to speak up and work better together.

The cost of avoidance, Heather warns, is huge. It damages culture, drives up staff turnover and crushes creativity. But when leaders embrace difficult conversations, they unlock motivation, innovation and collaboration. As Heather puts it: “There are two things people want at work – to be seen and to be understood.” If we can give our teams that, the results speak for themselves.

Making space for real confidence at work

In a confidence workshop this week, I was asked a question that comes up again and again:

“Do women struggle more with confidence, or are men just less likely to admit it?”

On the face of it, yes, women are more likely to talk about feelings, while men stereotypically don’t.

But the long answer isn’t quite so simple.

I’d argue that when it comes to confidence, it’s not about chromosomes. It’s about the messages we absorb from a young age, subtle ones that shape how we see ourselves and how others see us.

Boys first, girls second
For me, it started in primary school. Every morning, when taking the register, the teacher read out the boys’ names first. Then the girls’. At the time, it felt normal. But it landed: boys came first. We came second.

That’s how it begins, not with big, dramatic moments but with small, repeated signals. Over time, you start to think maybe your voice matters a bit less.

Even though girls do better at school, that early confidence doesn’t always follow them into work. Cue the gender pay gap. Cue the lack of women in top roles. Cue the need to prove what men are often assumed to have: competence.

Why presentation skills training isn’t always the answer

When someone in your team struggles to speak up or seems unsure of themselves, it’s tempting to reach for a quick solution: presentation skills training.

It’s neat. It’s available. And it feels like you’re taking action. But in many cases, it’s a veneer-thin fix.

Yes, presentation skills training can be great for learning how to structure a talk, use slides well or engage an audience.

But if the real problem runs deeper, it won’t help. In fact, it might do more harm than good.

Because more often than not, it’s not a skills issue. It’s about confidence. Or culture. Or the way people are heard – or not – in your organisation.

So let’s rethink what’s really going on.

How to ask great questions

How to Ask Great Questions

Questions. We ask them all the time, don’t we? In meetings, in conversations with colleagues, when we’re getting to know clients, and even when we’re networking at events. But how often do we actually stop and think about the questions we’re asking?
When I asked questions for a living, as a journalist on live TV, the quality of the questions was important because it affected the quality of the answers.
But quite understandably most of us just ask questions, in our day to day life, in a natural way. But how about we focus a bit more on crafting great questions? Making it deliberate. Thoughtful. Because when you ask them well, they can change the way people engage with you, the quality of ideas you get back, and ultimately, the results you achieve in your work.
So today, we’re talking about how to ask great questions. Not just any old questions, but the kind that get people thinking, that open up conversations, and help you get better responses.
To do that, I’m going to walk you through three powerful types of questions you can start using right away.
And in the notes section below, there’s a link to a bonus of even more great questions to ask.
Right then, shall we get into it?

Great Job! Why recognition needs a rethink

Great Job! Why recognition needs a rethink. Did you shout ‘great job, team!’ this week, perhaps with a triumphant air punch?
Recognising and appreciating good work is a key leadership skill, but doing it inconsistently can sink morale faster than you can say “project deadline.”
Picture this: you’ve slogged through a tough project, and… nothing. Not a word. Then, a colleague gets applauded for something minor. Annoying, right?
That’s the danger of patchy praise. It leaves people feeling overlooked and unmotivated.
Recognition shouldn’t be a rare event
Appreciation isn’t just for the big wins. It needs to happen consistently and sincerely – whether it’s celebrating a major milestone or acknowledging smaller efforts that keep the wheels turning.
When you only highlight certain achievements, the unspoken message is clear: not all contributions matter. That breeds dissatisfaction and disengagement.

How to say no at work

How to say no at work. Let’s face it, saying no isn’t always easy. Whether it’s a colleague, your boss or that overly enthusiastic friend trying to rope you into something, the pressure to say yes can feel overwhelming.

So, here’s my guide to navigating those tricky situations when you want to confidently say no.

Do you struggle to say no at work?
Some of us just can’t bear the thought of letting anyone down. Often we can find ourselves saying yes to a request just to keep others happy – even if it’s at the detriment of our own happiness or well-being.

This can stem from a strong need to be liked, conflict avoidance or even an ingrained habit of simply prioritising others’ needs above their own.

While it’s a trait rooted in kindness and collaboration – which is lovely – it can lead to burnout, resentment or being taken advantage of if left unchecked. So, what can you do if you are stuck in a cycle of saying yes when you don’t want to?

Beat the self-belief thief

Today, I want to talk about confidence thieves. You know – those people (or moments) that swoop in and swipe your self-belief right out from under you.
They’re real, persistent and they can strike at any time.
But don’t worry, I’ve got some great advice to help you spot them, protect yourself and even bounce back stronger.

What are confidence thieves?
Confidence thieves come in different forms. Sometimes it’s a person – a colleague, a boss or even a so-called friend – who makes a remark that cuts deep, making you question yourself.
Other times, it’s a situation, like a big presentation or an unexpected challenge that rattles your confidence.
And then there’s that little voice in your head, whispering things like, “Who do you think you are?” or “You’re not ready for this.”
Any of these can steal your self-belief if you let them.
It can happen so quickly. One small comment or a brief moment of doubt can snowball into a full-on confidence crisis.
These confidence thieves are lurking everywhere, sometimes where you least expect them.

Make listening your organisation’s superpower

What do meetings look like in your organisation? Is it just a few people speaking while most stay silent? Do people interrupt, talk over each other, pinch ideas, or mansplain?
Perhaps the culture is that the leaders or the most experienced have all the best ideas, and it’s everyone else’s job just to shut up and listen.
Create a thinking environment in your meetings
I’ve got some great tips and advice about listening for you to share with your colleagues. It’s all about consistently putting listening into practice to create more sustainably successful and productive meetings, where:
You tap into genuine creativity and fantastic ideas by making listening a priority.
People feel heard and positive about themselves because they’ve made genuine contributions and solved problems together.
As a leader, you’re seen as more coach-like, empathetic, and approachable.
So, as ever in the Workplace Confidence newsletter, it’s about the HOW. How do you create a culture of meetings where listening is a priority? I suggest these three ground rules, which you should explain to everyone at the beginning of each meeting.

Being yourself at work, how hard can it be?

This time, I’m delving into a topic close to my heart: feeling like you can’t be your authentic self at work.
It’s a common issue, and thinking back to my career at the BBC, I certainly had times when I played small and held back on sharing ideas.
A former boss once told me to “intellectualise more!” Ironically, I had no clue what he meant. The effort of trying to be something I wasn’t left me stressed, tired and grappling with bouts of burnout.
I often felt misunderstood by colleagues and unable to contribute fully. A square peg in a round hole, with plenty of good old imposter syndrome thrown in for good measure!
All of these feelings come at a cost, with broader implications for you, your colleagues and your organisation:
Mental health: Anxiety, stress, depression and burnout.
Productivity: When people aren’t themselves, they’re short on ideas, less innovative and unable to solve problems.
Succession planning: When people play small their performance suffers. Talent may hold back on showcasing their genuine strengths and talents, making it hard to spot future leaders.
Relationships and communication: Inauthenticity can lead to mistrust and weakened professional relationships, poor communication and grievances.

How to interrupt like a pro

How to interrupt like a pro. This time, I’m sharing insights on a slightly less celebrated but incredibly useful skill – interrupting!
Far from being a breach of etiquette, having colleagues who know how to interrupt appropriately is essential.
Confidently interrupting (and accepting interruptions) without causing offence saves time and enhances collaboration and productivity.
The art of interrupting
Interrupting isn’t about cutting people off – it’s about steering a conversation constructively. Instead of the awkward ‘um’ or ‘excuse me,’ opt for confident and clear interjections.
A well-timed “Thank you for that insight, let’s hold on to that thought and move on,” can seamlessly shift the discussion without dampening the speaker’s spirit.

Want to nail your next presentation? Here’s why mindset matters

Executive CoachingDiscover our world-class coachingLet’s talkBook a no-obligation discovery callGet your mindset right for a great presentation What I want to talk about today is a really important part of presenting or speaking or being in front of people, and that is preparation. Often we think of preparation as getting your slide deck sorted, getting PowerPoint open, making notes and …

Are you a great speaker or just good enough?

It can be tough to get honest feedback about your speaking skills, especially as you move up the career ladder. Colleagues might not know how to give constructive criticism, or they might not feel comfortable critiquing your speaking. That’s where professional coaches come in. They can help you take your speaking abilities to the next level.

Got an opinion? Share it

I’ve got a bit of a challenge on with somebody. I’m trying to convince them that having an opinion and sharing it is a really good idea.

Now you might be in the camp of: “Oh, no way. I’m not sharing my personal opinions anywhere or with anyone because that’s the recipe for disaster. That’s the road to ruin.”

I, however, believe you absolutely must share your opinions and your experiences and your thinking about things so that people understand what you stand for, who you are, and where you’re coming from.

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