Penny Haslam, Author at Bit Famous

“I’m no good at that” – challenging limiting beliefs and negative self-labelling at work

There’s a phrase you’ll often hear in the workplace: “I’m just not good at that sort of thing.”
Sometimes it’s more specific, “I don’t do small talk” or “I hate speaking in meetings.”
And it’s frustrating to hear, especially when you’ve seen the same person light up when talking about their area of expertise.
Ask them about a problem in the supply chain or a piece of technical kit and they’ll speak with clarity, detail and passion. No hesitation. No second-guessing.
But ask them to contribute to a team discussion or start a casual chat at an event, and suddenly they shrink back.
They’ll tell you it’s not their thing.
They’ll tell you they’re not that kind of person.
So what’s going on?
In my experience, it usually comes down to two things:
Limiting beliefs: quiet, unchallenged thoughts people carry around about what they can and can’t do. The ones that say, “This isn’t me,” or “I’m not wired for that.”
Negative self-labelling: repeated out loud, often with a shrug. “I’m always late.” “I ramble when I talk.” “I’m no good with people.”
And over time, these stick.
They become part of someone’s professional identity, woven into how they see themselves and how others start to see them too.
But here’s the thing. In most cases, these beliefs aren’t rooted in truth, they’re just coping strategies.
A way of managing nerves. A bit of cover for social discomfort.
And when repeated enough, they start to set the limits of what someone believes they’re capable of.
Which is where the problem begins.
Because in a workplace context, these beliefs don’t just stay inside someone’s head.
They affect how they show up, how they contribute, how others engage with them… and ultimately how far they grow.
And that’s a challenge for any organisation trying to build confident, connected, collaborative teams.

Making space for real confidence at work

In a confidence workshop this week, I was asked a question that comes up again and again:

“Do women struggle more with confidence, or are men just less likely to admit it?”

On the face of it, yes, women are more likely to talk about feelings, while men stereotypically don’t.

But the long answer isn’t quite so simple.

I’d argue that when it comes to confidence, it’s not about chromosomes. It’s about the messages we absorb from a young age, subtle ones that shape how we see ourselves and how others see us.

Boys first, girls second
For me, it started in primary school. Every morning, when taking the register, the teacher read out the boys’ names first. Then the girls’. At the time, it felt normal. But it landed: boys came first. We came second.

That’s how it begins, not with big, dramatic moments but with small, repeated signals. Over time, you start to think maybe your voice matters a bit less.

Even though girls do better at school, that early confidence doesn’t always follow them into work. Cue the gender pay gap. Cue the lack of women in top roles. Cue the need to prove what men are often assumed to have: competence.

The value of val-yous: why reflecting on personal values can boost your colleagues confidence and sharpen decision making

Have you ever dithered over making a final decision on something? Perhaps choosing one candidate over another, or what to do about the kitchen cupboards falling apart!

Maybe you said yes to something, then quickly regretted not saying a firm no. Or you held back when you meant to speak up.

Well, all these moments, internal wobbles, are signs you’ve drifted from your values, the things that really matter to you, that make you you.

Or, more likely, you’ve never had an opportunity to pin down your values..

Now , imagine what happens when a whole team is out of step with their own personal values. It’s not just the odd regret or misstep here and there, it’s multiple people being slower to make decisions, second-guessing why they’re going in a certain direction, not really leaning into being themselves and being brave.

Everyone needs a North Star – and that’s why it’s worth doing a values check-in.

Is your town hall meeting in trouble?

Why your town hall meeting might be turning people off.
You’ve got everyone in the business together. The slides are ready. The execs are lined up. You’re streaming to hundreds of screens. So why does it still feel like a bit of a flop?

Town halls should be a highlight – a chance to bring people together, share progress, spark ideas and build momentum. But too often, they miss the mark.

Instead of being energising, they’re predictable. Instead of creating a connection, they reinforce a divide. Instead of landing messages, they lose the room.

We’ve all been there. Cameras off, minds wandering. A speaker droning through 30 bullet points while you mentally reorganise your weekend. And if you’re the one organising it? It can be disheartening to watch the effort go nowhere.

Why presentation skills training isn’t always the answer

When someone in your team struggles to speak up or seems unsure of themselves, it’s tempting to reach for a quick solution: presentation skills training.

It’s neat. It’s available. And it feels like you’re taking action. But in many cases, it’s a veneer-thin fix.

Yes, presentation skills training can be great for learning how to structure a talk, use slides well or engage an audience.

But if the real problem runs deeper, it won’t help. In fact, it might do more harm than good.

Because more often than not, it’s not a skills issue. It’s about confidence. Or culture. Or the way people are heard – or not – in your organisation.

So let’s rethink what’s really going on.

Leading HR with people, not policy – Maria Hawley

Leading HR with People, Not Policy – Maria Hawley.
Episode 13: Workplace Confidence Podcast.

Where people professionals share the great work they do

Maria Hawley didn’t plan to stay at Fisher German for long. But more than a decade later, she’s still there – now Director of People – having helped lead the business through major growth and cultural change.

In this episode, Maria talks about what it takes to build a people function from scratch and support more than 850 employees across a growing UK-wide property consultancy.

When she joined, there was no HR team in place. She set it up from the ground up, guiding the business as it expanded from 220 employees to over 850, and from a handful of rural offices to major cities including London and Manchester.

Now sitting on the leadership team and operations board, Maria helps shape the business’s five-year strategy and ensures people remain central to decision-making.

Her role spans core HR operations, learning and development, talent acquisition and people experience.

She’s also taken on additional responsibilities in risk and compliance, health and safety and facilities – evidence of her hands-on approach and strategic reach.

Maria’s people-first leadership extends beyond the boardroom. She’s known for her honest and engaging LinkedIn posts, which blend professional insight with personal reflection. Maria uses social media not just to promote her employer brand, but to show who she is beyond the job title.

Connection, she says, is central to how she leads.

This episode is packed with insight for HR leaders ready to grow their influence, shape strategy and show up with authenticity. Maria’s story is a reminder that people’s leadership is more than policies – it’s about purpose, visibility, and building something that lasts.

How to ask great questions

How to Ask Great Questions

Questions. We ask them all the time, don’t we? In meetings, in conversations with colleagues, when we’re getting to know clients, and even when we’re networking at events. But how often do we actually stop and think about the questions we’re asking?
When I asked questions for a living, as a journalist on live TV, the quality of the questions was important because it affected the quality of the answers.
But quite understandably most of us just ask questions, in our day to day life, in a natural way. But how about we focus a bit more on crafting great questions? Making it deliberate. Thoughtful. Because when you ask them well, they can change the way people engage with you, the quality of ideas you get back, and ultimately, the results you achieve in your work.
So today, we’re talking about how to ask great questions. Not just any old questions, but the kind that get people thinking, that open up conversations, and help you get better responses.
To do that, I’m going to walk you through three powerful types of questions you can start using right away.
And in the notes section below, there’s a link to a bonus of even more great questions to ask.
Right then, shall we get into it?

Great Job! Why recognition needs a rethink

Great Job! Why recognition needs a rethink. Did you shout ‘great job, team!’ this week, perhaps with a triumphant air punch?
Recognising and appreciating good work is a key leadership skill, but doing it inconsistently can sink morale faster than you can say “project deadline.”
Picture this: you’ve slogged through a tough project, and… nothing. Not a word. Then, a colleague gets applauded for something minor. Annoying, right?
That’s the danger of patchy praise. It leaves people feeling overlooked and unmotivated.
Recognition shouldn’t be a rare event
Appreciation isn’t just for the big wins. It needs to happen consistently and sincerely – whether it’s celebrating a major milestone or acknowledging smaller efforts that keep the wheels turning.
When you only highlight certain achievements, the unspoken message is clear: not all contributions matter. That breeds dissatisfaction and disengagement.

How HR can gain influence at board level – Carolyn Cole

In this episode of the Workplace Confidence Podcast, Penny Haslam talks to Carolyn Cole about how HR leaders can secure a seat at the boardroom table and influence top-level decisions.

Carolyn, a seasoned Chief People Officer with private equity experience, explains why HR is often an afterthought in growing businesses and why it shouldn’t be.

She shares practical tips on stepping up to board level, including why financial acumen matters, how speaking the CEO’s language builds confidence and why understanding budgets and EBITDA earns trust.

We also hear how HR plays a crucial role in mergers and acquisitions, where people strategy can make or break a deal. Her approach? Real conversations instead of endless surveys, ensuring employees feel supported during rapid change.

Carolyn also stresses that mental health support must go beyond training, managers need the confidence to have open conversations.

In this episode, you’ll hear a powerful case for HR as a business driver. How knowing the numbers, building CEO relationships and championing people’s impact on performance can elevate your role, and your organisation. Essential listening for HR professionals who want a bigger voice at the top.

HR in the boardroom, 5 ways to elevate your influence

HR in the boardroom, 5 ways to elevate your influence. While writing this I had HR leaders in mind because according to the CIPD, just 2% of businesses have an HR director as executive board members, even though workforce issues have such an influence on an organisation’s success.
So, I’m dedicating today’s newsletter to people professionals (or anyone who wants to strengthen their voice in this area,) with five practical ways to elevate your influence and impact this year. 1. Define what you want to be known for
What’s your expertise? What’s the thing people turn to you for? Maybe it’s staying ahead of the curve with AI in recruitment or cracking intergenerational workforce challenges.
You don’t need to be a global expert, just know enough to hold your ground and add value. Pick an area that excites you, stay curious and share your insights. You’ll be amazed at how quickly you’re seen as the trusted go-to expert.
2. Connect HR to big business goals
Think like the CEO or CFO. What do they care about? Growth, market share, the bottom line? How does HR contribute to that?
So, if you’ve run a programme to retain senior women leaders, don’t just talk about “soft” benefits, share the financial impact. Has the work you’ve delivered saved 10X on recruitment costs? Brilliant.
How have you boosted team productivity? Practise discussing your commercial successes out loud. Do it in the car, in the shower – anywhere! Sure, it might feel a bit weird, but trust me, it works.

How to say no at work

How to say no at work. Let’s face it, saying no isn’t always easy. Whether it’s a colleague, your boss or that overly enthusiastic friend trying to rope you into something, the pressure to say yes can feel overwhelming.

So, here’s my guide to navigating those tricky situations when you want to confidently say no.

Do you struggle to say no at work?
Some of us just can’t bear the thought of letting anyone down. Often we can find ourselves saying yes to a request just to keep others happy – even if it’s at the detriment of our own happiness or well-being.

This can stem from a strong need to be liked, conflict avoidance or even an ingrained habit of simply prioritising others’ needs above their own.

While it’s a trait rooted in kindness and collaboration – which is lovely – it can lead to burnout, resentment or being taken advantage of if left unchecked. So, what can you do if you are stuck in a cycle of saying yes when you don’t want to?

Beat the self-belief thief

Today, I want to talk about confidence thieves. You know – those people (or moments) that swoop in and swipe your self-belief right out from under you.
They’re real, persistent and they can strike at any time.
But don’t worry, I’ve got some great advice to help you spot them, protect yourself and even bounce back stronger.

What are confidence thieves?
Confidence thieves come in different forms. Sometimes it’s a person – a colleague, a boss or even a so-called friend – who makes a remark that cuts deep, making you question yourself.
Other times, it’s a situation, like a big presentation or an unexpected challenge that rattles your confidence.
And then there’s that little voice in your head, whispering things like, “Who do you think you are?” or “You’re not ready for this.”
Any of these can steal your self-belief if you let them.
It can happen so quickly. One small comment or a brief moment of doubt can snowball into a full-on confidence crisis.
These confidence thieves are lurking everywhere, sometimes where you least expect them.

Visible leadership mistakes and how to avoid them

Visible leadership mistakes and how to avoid them.
Visible leadership isn’t just about being present; it’s about genuinely connecting with your team, being approachable and staying engaged.

But let’s face it, even the best leaders can make mistakes – sometimes an attempt to be more visible can backfire, creating distance instead of connection.

In this blog, I’ll cover some of the common traps and share practical advice on how to avoid them. By the end, you’ll have the tools you need to build real, lasting connections that strengthen your leadership.

How to ask for feedback – dos and don’ts

How to ask for feedback – dos and don’ts. Feedback can be a brilliant work tool. When done right it promotes personal growth, builds confidence and strengthens relationships.
But before you jump in with a casual “How did I do?”, there’s a lot worth considering.
In my latest podcast episode, I share all my top tips on how to ask for feedback. Plus, a story about the worst piece of feedback I ever got during my time in TV – it still makes me wince! Have a listen and feel free to share it with your colleagues.

How to stop saying sorry at work

How to stop saying sorry at work. Are you or your colleagues guilty of saying “sorry” a bit too much at work? You’re not alone – over-apologising is a common habit and it can undermine our authority and confidence without us even realising it.
When we constantly say sorry, we subtly communicate that our needs, ideas or presence are less important.
This habit is regularly an issue for women at work, who may feel the need to apologise just for speaking up or taking up space. It’s a subtle but powerful behaviour that can hold us back professionally.
I was discussing workplace confidence in a webcast this week with 400 colleagues at a global engineering firm and one director admitted she kept finding herself apologising – for asking a question, for interrupting, even for offering her own opinion! It made me think: Why do we say sorry so much, and what can we do about it?

Get your people bragging, with brag books!

I’m excited to share a simple yet powerful tool that can help boost confidence, self-awareness, and productivity in the workplace: the brag book.
And yes, while the name might sound a tad cringey, this isn’t about showing off – it’s about recognising achievements, celebrating wins and empowering individuals to keep moving forward.
So, let’s dive into what brag books are, why they’re useful and how you can support your colleagues in creating and maintaining their own.

Public sector recruitment, a passion for shaping talent in Greater Manchester – Anna Foster-Ressel

Workplace Confidence Podcast – A passion for public service, shaping talent in Greater Manchester with Anna Foster-Ressel

In this episode, we chat with Anna Foster-Ressel, the energetic Senior Talent and Resources Manager and Strategic People Business Partner at Greater Manchester Combined Authority. Anna shares her passion for the public sector and how she’s on a mission to build diverse, inclusive teams that truly reflect the community.

Anna talks about wearing two hats – leading recruitment for both GMCA and Greater Manchester Fire and Rescue Service and why she believes hiring for values and behaviours beats experience every time. She and Penny dig into the challenges of public sector recruitment, including how to attract talent when you can’t compete on salaries, and why Anna’s approach is all about connecting people with purpose.

Inclusive recruitment, why two unconscious biases are better than one at BPP – Jen Hulme

Workplace Confidence Podcast – Inclusive recruitment, why two unconscious biases are better than one at BPP with Jen Hulme.

In this episode, Penny Haslam talks with Jen Hulme, a passionate talent acquisition leader at BPP, a leading UK provider of professional education in law, business, finance and healthcare.

Jen shares her fresh approach to recruitment, focusing on the art of recruiting rather than specialising in a single industry. She believes that by mastering recruitment skills, you can succeed across various sectors, making the process more dynamic and insightful.

Jen explains how BPP attracts top talent, especially from diverse backgrounds and emphasises the importance of aligning candidates with the company’s core values, such as being student-centric and embracing change. She also discusses the challenges of maintaining a personal touch in an increasingly automated recruitment world.

Empowering leaders at the College of Policing – Becs Riley

Workplace Confidence Podcast – Empowering leaders at the College of Policing with Becs Riley.

In this episode, Becs Riley, Senior Leaders Hub Manager at the College of Policing, shares her unique journey from working as a forensic shoe print specialist to leading initiatives that support senior leaders.

Becs explores the challenges of empowering leaders in policing, particularly the difficulty of shifting mindsets from focusing solely on operational tasks to taking on broader leadership roles.

Global HR challenges: the People At Work survey 2024 – Annabel Jones

Episode 8: Workplace Confidence PodcastWhere people professionals share the great work they doIn this episode, we sit down with Annabel Jones, Senior HR Director for International Sales & Marketing at ADP a global payroll and HR services provider. Annabel brings a wealth of experience from her diverse people career journey, including roles in the music industry, visual effects for blockbuster films …

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