How to say no at work

How to say no at work. Let’s face it, saying no isn’t always easy. Whether it’s a colleague, your boss or that overly enthusiastic friend trying to rope you into something, the pressure to say yes can feel overwhelming.

So, here’s my guide to navigating those tricky situations when you want to confidently say no.

Do you struggle to say no at work?

Some of us just can’t bear the thought of letting anyone down. Often we can find ourselves saying yes to a request just to keep others happy - even if it’s at the detriment of our own happiness or well-being.

This can stem from a strong need to be liked, conflict avoidance or even an ingrained habit of simply prioritising others' needs above their own.

While it’s a trait rooted in kindness and collaboration - which is lovely - it can lead to burnout, resentment or being taken advantage of if left unchecked. So, what can you do if you are stuck in a cycle of saying yes when you don’t want to?

A great first step is to understand the reason you might be going along with something when you don’t want to:

Are you agreeing because that's your job?

Perhaps you genuinely want to help?

Or is it driven by fear of disappointing someone?

When you begin to identify the reasons you might be saying yes (when you deep down want to say no) you have greater self-awareness and can start taking small steps to reclaim your time and energy.

Scenarios for saying no at work

Say no to tasks outside your role

Have you ever been asked to organise the office charity cake sale when your actual job is head of HR? You’re not alone. These requests might come from a place of goodwill, but they’re not part of your remit.

Say no to workload conflicts

Are deadlines piling up? When new requests threaten to derail your existing priorities, it’s time to push back. Politely, of course.

No to social or voluntary commitments

“Would you like to join the office charity run?” It sounds lovely, but sometimes you just want to spend your weekend relaxing. And that’s okay.

Saying no to persistent or manipulative requests

You know the type: “What are you doing on Tuesday?” And before you know it, you’ve scored an own goal by replying, “Nothing at the moment, why?” And find yourself signed up for something you didn’t want to do.

Transitioning roles? Say no

When you’ve been promoted but people still expect you to fix the photocopier because you used to do it. It’s time to reset expectations. Just because you could, doesn’t mean you should.

Continues..

Emotional or guilt-based requests? No thanks

Family member pulling at your heartstrings? It’s easy to cave in, with so much history between you but maintaining your boundaries is crucial.

Saying no to requests from leadership or clients

Even requests from higher-ups deserve careful consideration, especially if they conflict with your priorities or values.

Bit Famous works with businesses and organisations
to help them communicate with confidence.

By Penny Haslam

MD and Founder - Bit Famous

Workplace Confidence

FREE resources for leaders and people professionals from Penny Haslam and Bit Famous

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Exactly what to say: 19 ways to say no at work

Here are 19 practical, easy-to-follow phrases to help you decline requests confidently. Copy and paste them into notes on your phone, use them verbally and in written messages.

1. Be clear and firm

No need to dance around it. A simple, “That’s not something I can take on right now” does the job.

2. Buy time before responding

Not ready to say no outright? Try “Can I get back to you later today?” It gives you space to think about and craft a response. Warning! Never buy time just to avoid saying no.

3. Set and communicate your boundaries

Decide what you’re willing to take on and stick to it. Your time and energy are valuable - treat them as such. “That does sound interesting, but it’s a no from me because I’m focusing on (fill in the blank) ."

4. Use unequivocal language

Avoid using words that could be interpreted as a yes, words like ‘maybe’, ‘perhaps’ or even a promise to 'think about it’. Be polite in your tone, but be clear: “Thanks for thinking of me, but I’m going to pass this time.”

5. Frame your no positively

Shift the focus to what you can do, if that’s reasonable. For example: “I can’t join the project, but I’d be happy to review your proposal.”

6. Acknowledge the request before declining

It’s always nice to feel seen. Start with, “I appreciate you thinking of me, but…” or “That’s very flattering to be asked…” and then give your no.

7. Keep it short and simple

No need to over-explain. A concise, “I’m unable to help with that” works wonders. If that feels abrupt and unkind to you, consider what it might be like to receive a no like that. Would you be dramatically wounded and take the offence to your grave, or just a bit disappointed and ultimately respectful of their decision?

8. Use "not now" instead of "no” - But only when you mean it

Sometimes deferring is better than declining outright if it’s something you are genuinely interested in doing. For example: “I’d love to help, but I’m fully booked this month. Can we revisit later?”

9. Recognise when to push back

If the request feels inappropriate, don’t shy away from asserting your limits: “That’s outside my usual set of responsibilities. I’m happy to explain if you would like to understand more about that.”

10. Practice saying no

Like most confident communication, it’s a skill you can learn and improve upon! Rehearsing common scenarios will build your confidence and ability, so role-play verbal situations with a friend. Or practice on your cat or dog - they never take it personally.

11. For tasks outside your role

Redirect: “That’s not my area, but X might be able to help.”

Decline: “I don’t handle that anymore, but I’m sure you’ll find the right person.”

12. Workload conflicts

Explain: “I can’t take this on without impacting other deadlines.”

Offer alternatives: “Can we revisit this next month when my workload eases?”

13. Social or voluntary commitments

Politely decline: “That’s not something I can commit to right now, but I hope it goes well.”

Avoid excuses: Don’t say, “I can’t afford it” which could open the door to counterarguments like, “I’ll pay for you!”.

14. Persistent or manipulative requests

Stand firm: “I appreciate the invitation, but as I said last time, I’ve decided not to participate.”

Avoid traps: When asked ‘what are you doing on Tuesday?’ - find out why. Ask "what have you got in mind?” or "why do you ask?".

15. Transitioning roles

Reset expectations: “I’ve moved on from that, but I’m happy to support the transition and share what I know if that’s relevant.”

Reinforce your new role: “I’m focusing on higher-level planning/strategy/report writing now.”

16. Emotional or guilt-based requests

Empathise: “I understand this is important to you, but I can’t commit right now.”

Hold your ground: “I really wish I could help, but I need to prioritise other responsibilities.”

17. Requests from leadership

Balance priorities: “I’d need to deprioritise other tasks to take this on. Would you like me to do that?”

Propose solutions: “I can’t give this the attention it deserves at the moment, but I’m happy to collaborate on a solution.”

18. Requests from clients or stakeholders

Focus on quality: “To deliver the best results, I’ll need to stay focused on the agreed priorities.”

Stay professional: “I appreciate the opportunity, but this falls outside our scope of work.”

19. Handling family or personal obligations

Be honest: “I’d love to help, but I’ve already committed my time elsewhere.”

Offer alternatives: “This isn’t something I can manage right now, but I’ll support you in another way if I can.”

Remember, saying no doesn’t have to be awkward. With the right approach, you can protect your time, set boundaries, and maintain great relationships. Now, go forth and say no – with confidence!